How Do I Help My Child Succeed in School?

Every parent wants their child to succeed in school, yet what does “success” mean and how can you help your child achieve it? Success can include good grades or high test scores. But more importantly success is about feeling comfortable with the challenges of the content. It’s about yearning to explore and learn and knowing that there are adequate resources, at school and at home, to support that desire. A critical part of effectively guiding children on their educational journey is simply believing in their potential; it seems like a no-brainer, but myths abound in our culture about who can and can’t learn. Every child, no matter their background, is capable of success in the classroom. When children know the adults in their lives believe in them, it fuels their confidence and motivation, laying the foundation for academic achievement and a lifelong love of learning. What follows are three ways to build on this foundation and help your child do well in school.

Learn the Standards

Being informed about what your child is supposed to learn is a great first step in supporting their educational journey. Classroom instruction is based on learning standards: what students are supposed to know and be able to do for each grade level. They are tested and graded on how well they meet these standards. Being familiar with learning standards can put you in a better position to support classroom learning at home. Knowing the standards also helps you avoid the pitfalls of unfair comparisons—for example, what students are learning now in third grade is likely different from what you learned at that grade level. Many states have adopted Common Core standards for English language arts and mathematics. For example, a first-grade standard for mathematics looks like this:

States also have standards in other subject areas, like science and social studies. In Washington State, the social studies standards are called grade-level expectations (GLEs). Here’s an example of a third-grade social studies GLE:

Learning standards are not always easy to comprehend, especially if English isn’t your primary language. The Glossary of Education Reform is a helpful resource for interpreting school-related concepts, such as learning standards, and other jargon. However, what those standards and GLEs actually mean and what your child will be asked to do are questions that teachers should be able to answer.

Establish Good Communication

Most educators welcome parental involvement. Parents can and should ask questions:

• What standards in __________(fill in any subject area like mathematics) are my child meeting or exceeding?

• What are the standards in __________(fill in any subject area) that my child should be working on?

• What does it mean to meet or exceed that standard?

• How can we support my child’s learning together?

If the answers to these questions are not satisfactory, don’t be afraid to press for more information: “Would you explain that again?” or “Can you give me an example?”

In addition to learning about standards, establishing effective communication with staff at your child’s school has other benefits. For example, when students know parents and teachers are in regular contact, they are more likely to succeed. First, it shows that a child’s caregivers are invested in their education. Second, children tend to be more honest about what’s going on. (It’s hard for Junior to lie about doing his homework when he knows that his parents and teachers are allies.) Third, communication between parents, teachers, and administration can be productive for reaching common understanding about everyone’s roles and responsibilities for educational success. Here are some additional pointers for establishing good communication between home and school:

• Get to know staff other than your child’s teachers, such as the guidance counselor, the vice principal, the art teacher, and paraeducators; they can be important sources of insight, information, and support.

• Ask the school for an interpreter if there is a language barrier; schools must communicate information in a language parents can understand.

• Reach out to your child’s teacher first, rather than going directly to the principal, to resolve classroom issues.

• Avoid criticizing your child’s teacher in front of your child.

Connect over Learning at Home

When parents show they value education, it has a positive impact on children, since they tend to value what their parents value. How do you indicate that you care about their academic journey?

Ask children about what happened at school and specifically what they worked on that day. Of course, frequent answers to these questions include “Nothing,” or “Recess was fun,” or “The same old stuff.” But it’s important to dig for more. To get beyond stock responses, inquire about specific subjects, for example, “What was the lesson in math today?” You may also need to follow up their short answers with statements and questions, such as “Tell me more,” or “Can you show me what you mean?” Your child may or may not be aware of specific learning standards, which is why it’s important for you to learn about the standards yourself and connect with teachers about how to meet them.

Make sure you see the work your child is doing and being graded on. Praise good results but also try to understand why an assignment got a particular result and inquire whether your child understands. It can be helpful to explore errors together—ask your child to correct their mistakes. (Sometimes students will fess up to just rushing through an assignment so they could enjoy free time. However, it’s still important to have them fix what they got wrong.) It is normal to want to move on and not look back at assignments, but being able to correct mistakes can prevent future errors—and teach children that mistakes are opportunities for growth.

Teach your child that it is okay to ask questions when they don’t understand something—tell them it’s actually a sign of intelligence to ask for help or clarification. No one was born knowing how to write a five-sentence paragraph or calculate the square footage of a room. We all had to learn, and sometimes the learning did not come easily. The ability to ask questions also shows perseverance—an asset in life at any age.

Reading is another activity that parents and children can share that supports learning. Reading textbooks and assignments with your child can increase their understanding of the lessons they are being asked to complete. But it’s important to go beyond what the classroom provides; reading for pleasure is beneficial to your child’s intellectual and emotional growth. Not only does it provide a quality way to spend time together, but reading out loud also helps children build language skills and stimulates their imaginations. Capitalize on this by allowing your children to see you reading for pleasure. Children imitate adults and are more apt to continue reading as they grow up if they see their parents enjoying a book. They need to see that TV and video games are not the only forms of home entertainment, that phones aren’t the only source of information. Modeling curiosity about and respect for education at home helps children thrive in school.